50+ Funniest Jokes About Animals,Big list of animal jokes,Really Funny Animal Jokes
Animal jokes sms
Q: Why was the mom-spider angry with the dad-spider?
A: Because he spent too much time on the web.
Q: Which animal should you never do business with?
A: A cheetah!.
Spiders are the only web developers that love finding bugs!.
A group of wildlife enthusiasts was very disappointed after a long day in the jungle trying to sight a tiger. They kept seeing leopards but no tigers. They asked their guide who was a man known for wisecracks, why they saw so many leopards and no tigers. He replied, “I guess that is because the leopard is easily spotted...!".
Q: How does the Easter Bunny travel?
A: By hare plane!.
Q: Why was the kangaroo upset that the kindergarten had declared a holiday because of bad weather?
A: Because all the kids would have to play inside.
Q: Why do the French eat snails?
A: They don’t like fast food.
Q: What do you call shaving a crazy sheep?
A: Shear madness.
Q: What should you say to your cat when you leave the house?
A: “Have a mice day!”.
Q: What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
A: A puss in boots!.
Q: What type of cat works for the Red Cross?
A: A first aid Kitty.
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite game?.
A: Mouse Trap.
Q: What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?
A: An egg!.
Q: What do you call a whale with no pants on?
A: Free Willy.
Q: What do you call a dog in the winter?
A: A chili dog!.
Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted!.
Q: Why does the Octopus always win the fight?
A: He is well armed!.
Q: Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: What is a cat's way of keeping law & order?
A: Claw Enforcement.
Q: Why did the cat run from the tree?
A: Because it was afraid of the bark!.
Funniest Jokes About Animals
Q: What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
A: A mice cream cone.
Q: What do dogs and story tellers have in common?
A: They both have tails!.
Q: What color socks do bears wear?
A: They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!.
Q: What do you call a Chameleon who can't change colors?
A: A reptile dysfunction!.
Q: What do you call a flying cat?
A: I'm-paws-sible.
Q: What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister?
A: An aunt-eater!
Q: How do you get a wet pussy?
A: Put it in the shower.
Q: Why did the cat wear a dress?
A: She was feline fine.
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A: A sourpuss!.
Q. What kind of sports car does a cat drive?
A. A Furrari.
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?.
A: Nest-cafe!.
Q: Where should you leave your dog when you go shopping?
A: In the barking lot.
Q: What is Dracula's favorite drink?
A: Bloody Mary!.
Q: If a snake married a mortician, what would their bath towels say?
A: Hiss and Hearse!.
Q: What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?.
A: Maybe!.
Pappu: Do you know why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?
Bunty: Why?
Pappu: They kept dropping their trunks!.
Q: Why does the mama cat put stamps on her kittens?
A: Because she wanted to mail a litter.
Q: When does the weather go splash! splash!, meow! woof?
A: When it's raining cats and dogs.
Q: Why was the baby kitten so irritable?
A: It needed a cat nap.
Q: Where did the kittens go on the class trip?.
A: To a Museum.
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Q: What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?.
A: A golden receiver.
Q: What do you call a bunch of whales who play instruments?.
A: An orca-stra!.
Q: Why aren't Koala Bears really bears?
A: Because they don't have the Coalification's!.
Q: What's a duck's favorite thing to watch on Netflix?
A: Documentaries!.
Q: What do you call it when a swarm of cats slows down your airplane?
A. Purr-bulence.
Q: What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors?
A: A reptile dysfunction!.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a tattoo?
A: Ext-inked!
Big list of animal jokes
Q: What did a Sushi say to a Bee?
A: Wasabi!
Q: What do Honey Badgers drink?
A: Mead.
Q: Diner: I can't eat this chicken. Call the manager.
A: Waiter: It's no use. He can't eat it either.
Q: Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire?
A: He was going to make a long-distance caw.
Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: What's a snake's favorite school subject?
A: Math, because it's an adder!
Q: What type of snake does a baby play with?
A: A rattlesnake!
Q: What do you call taking a selfie with a rattlesnake?
A: A missssss-take.
Q: What do snakes use to cut paper?
A: Scissss-ors!
Q: What is the most popular snake dialect?
A: Boomslang!
Q: If you crossed a snake with a robin, what kind of bird would you get?
A: A swallow!
Q: Why did the snake's wife file for divorce?
A: Erectile Dysfunction.
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A: A civil serpent!
Q: What is a snakes favorite dance?
A: The Mamba.
Q: In which river are you sure to find snakes?
A: The Hiss-issippi River!
Really Funny Animal Jokes
If uncle jack helped you off an elephant would you help uncle jack off an elephant
An elephant flew past at 200 miles per hour. It was a Nellie copter.
Q : What animals were last to leave the ark?
A : The elephants as they had to pack their trunks!
Q : What do you do with old cannon balls?
A : Give them to elephants to use as marbles!
Q : What do elephants say as a compliment?
A : You look elephantastic!
Q : What is an elephants favorite film?
A : Elephantasia.
Q : How are elephants and computers similar?
A : They both have big memories.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
A : Swimming Trunks.
Q : Who lost a herd of elephants?
A : Big bo peep!
Q : What do you call someone with an elephant on their head?
A : Squashed!
Q : What do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater?
A : Terrified!
Q : What is an elephant that flies?
A : A propellaphant.
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