Bar jokes sms,Best SMS Messages About Drinking

Bar jokes sms 

I've been feeling dizzy most of the time and I was suspecting some neurological problems. I was surprised when my doctor told me that it's not any neurological issue that's causing the dizziness. It's the alcohol!.

Pain makes you stronger.

Tears make you braver.

Heartache makes you wiser.

And Vodka makes you forget any of that crap!.

When a man drinks, it is said to damage his liver.

When a woman drinks, it damages her character.

I don't know if women have no liver, or men have no character!.

Friend 1: Cellphones should have options to change Airplane Mode to Drunk Mode.

Friend 2: Why?

Friend 1: That way your drunk texts never leave your phone..!

It's a five-minute walk from my house to the pub.

It's a 35-minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering..!

When alcohol doesn't count:

1. When it's sunny.

2. Your birthday.

3. Friday nights.

4. All weekend.

5. If you're already drunk.

There's a reason why 'sober' and 'so bored' sound almost exactly the same!.

Carrots may be good for your eyes, 

but booze will double your vision!.

 After using all of the social networking apps I've realized that alcohol is still the best way to connect with friends!.

You can't make everybody happy.

You must understand, you're human and not beer!.

Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need.

Better to be safe than sober!.

Girl: You are such a good dancer, so natural, so cool. Who taught you?

Pappu: Jack

Girl: Jack who?

Pappu: Jack Daniels!

 Jeeto: Where on earth did you read that scotch has health benefits?

Santa: Whiskeypedia!.

Everyone has their own path, fortunately, 

mine leads to the liquor store!.

Life is good, have a beer!.

Life sucks have a beer!.

Beer is the 'sensible shoes' of the adult beverage world!.

Don't drink and drive, because there are people out there who text and drive... 

and they will hit you and it will be your fault!.

If by bar-hopping you mean 'going to the garage fridge for a beer when you've run out inside' then yes,

 I still go bar-hopping!.

Drinking Alcohol is great for my health.

It takes me three times as long to walk home from the pub!.

Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter.

.

.

.

.

.

It doesn't do anything I just like butter!

Somebody should launch a beer called "Responsibly".

So when asked, I can say, "I only drink Responsibly"!.

I've never pretended to be something I'm not.

Except sober.

I've pretended to be sober before!.

Best SMS Messages About Drinking

I drink very little.

And when I drink little, 

I become a different person & that different person drinks a lot!.

Do you know what rhymes with Friday?

,

Alcohol!.

What did I learn today?

It turns out that I'm not addicted to alcohol... I'm addicted to hangovers!.

Drinking pineapple juice will improve your complexion and adding rum will improve others' looks!.

I can't really walk the walk or talk the talk but if you need me to drink the drink them I am all yours!.

Girl: Me or alcohol?

Alcohol: Choose her, I know you will come back to me later!.

What did I learn today?.

You'll never drown your sorrows drinking light beer!.

The hangover only lasts a day but the memories last a lifetime!

The best way to break the ice is to pour whisky over it!.

If you don't make enough money to go on vacation, just get drunk this weekend until you don't know where you are!. Have a Nice Weekend!

A dance floor is one place everyone is conscious except for the drunkards!

My home has an open door policy.

You bring beer and I open the door!

 I do not trust camels and anyone who can go a week without a drink!.

If you want to learn about the character of a person, invite him to drinks and have at least 3 different valued liquors. If he selects the costliest and then drinks like fish, you have your answer.

I wish I can replace my heart with another liver so I can drink more and care less!.

Surround yourself with people who have issues.

Because people who have issues always have alcohol!

Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted scotch!.

Among the extremist groups trying to recruit members to their cause like Al-Qaida, Al-Nusrah, Al-Badr etc.

I believe the most successful one is Al-cohol.

Many of my friends including myself have already fallen victim to it.

Cheers!

Someone offered me grapes, but I declined.

I'm not used to consuming wine in pill form!

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